


Never sure, will you catch me if I should fall?

by LadyElsbeth



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ballet, F/F, Fluff, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 17:02:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14140530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyElsbeth/pseuds/LadyElsbeth
Summary: "I just, I needed to feel something"Ava does ballet headcanon oneshot





	Never sure, will you catch me if I should fall?

It was two days later, two days after Ava`s identity fell apart, and she was getting more and more restless by the second. She had barely had a second to herself since leaving the Waverider, throwing herself into her duties as director to get her mind off everything.

  
And the Time Bureau did not make that difficult, because at every turn she made there was another crisis, another paper to read,

or sign,

another agent trailing her steps just in case the trend of disappearing directors decided to continue,

Gary asking her if she was ok,

a meeting, an anachronism,

a demon.

 

She hadn’t been home, she had slept in her office.  
Only a few restless hours curled up on the styleful but uncomfortable grey chair near the door.  She could feel Gary’s worried glances coming from his desk but she did not have the energy to cope with that.

 

She woke up in a cold sweat after her countless attempt at sleeping and looked at her time currier.

 

6:23 AM

 

Right

 

She had been dreaming about her childhood home, one which, had apparently never existed.

She had seen it fall apart, she had heard screams but had not recognised them.

 

She picked up her pantsuit jacket she had been using as a blanket and hung it over the back of the chair after folding it in half. Her hands rubbing her face, she had to get out of here and do something, something to wipe all of these thoughts away.

She pulled her hair up in a bun higher than usual, not bothering to make the perfect side part she usually made but instead going for an upswiped look. She grabbed her work out bag and mumbled something to Gary, who was already here for some reason and went to one of the highest floors of the beautiful skyscraper that was the Time bureau office.

 

She knew the top training room would not be in use at the moment, it was usually deserted because the downstairs training rooms were better equipped but Ava didn’t care about that. She wasn’t going to fight anyway.  

 

Ava always loved the feeling ballet gave her, the feeling of freedom within the strict rules and movements. She doesn’t want to think about why she loves those rules so much, why she is drawn to them, not now. She grabbed her pointe shoes and broke the soles, they would need it after the rest they had had.

 

A few hours later, Sara stepped through the portal she had projected into Ava’s office but found it to be empty

“Gary have you seen Ava?” She asked the agent when she walked out of the office and walked to his desk.

“I saw her briefly early this morning, she mentioned going to the upstairs training room” Gary’s eyes had an exasperated and worried look to them “are you guys going to make up because she has been acting so weird lately, she has been sleeping in her office for the last two days!”

 

Of course, they had wiped his memory of the clone center before letting him go back, it had been for the better.

 

Sara sighed “Thanks Gary” and walked away, ignoring his sounds of protest.

 

It`s was then when Sara found her, she was wearing tights, pointe shoes with worn dark blue leg warmers, short sport shorts and a lilac wrap around cardigan.  
A song from a movie they had watched together was playing,

at the time they had laughed, they had been happy, Sara loved to tease Ava about her love of musicals.

 

 _“_ _High in the sky, We can see the whole world down below”_

 

It had been something she hadn’t been expecting, but it was so endearing. The director would blush and bury her head in Sara’s shoulder, her heart had felt so warm.

 

And now she sees this woman, such a beautiful person, dance this way.

Ava danced and Sara’s heart skipped a beat.

 

Arm up, and down, a turn, and another one, a bend of the knee, a leg raised, a jup, another turn and a pirouette.

 

Sara could see a bandage around the dancer’s knee, but the dance still seemed effortless

 

Her arms graceful, her hips perfectly aligned and her turnout stretched.

 

It was only when Ava had stopped dead in her tracks that she saw that Ava was crying.

Her eyes red, and wide in shock.

 

“Jeez don’t, scare me like that”  
  
“Sorry” Sara gave her half a smile, “Assassins habit”  
she hesitated “I didn’t know you danced”

 

“Yeah well, I’m a bit out of practice” She walked towards where her bag was and grabbed her phone to stop the music that was still playing.

 

“I haven’t danced in a while but I just” Ava hesitated “Needed to feel something” Ava moved her arms around to stretch her shoulder muscles and wiped the tears from her face.

 

“I'm trying to wrap my head around everything” Ava sat down against the glass wall of the training room, her head falling against the mirror,

her eyes bloodshot.

 

“I so vividly remember taking my first classes, dancing hours every week, being devastated when I broke my knee in tenth grade” She sighed “I couldn't dance for months it was infuriating”

 

She held her breath for a moment, trying to keep calm.

 

“Ballet takes a lot of work, a lot of hard work. I know that because I remember it. But now that I know. Know that none of my memories or even skills are mine to have”

 

“Hey no-”  Sara tried to protest

 

“Sara please, let me say this”  

 

Sara moved to sit beside her, a respectable distance, an arm length away

 

“If I was displaced in time when Rip recruited me, or if Rip brought me here himself, I am no more than maybe six years old.” She tore away her gaze from Sara, and pulled the hair elastic from her, bun, letting her messy hair fall over her shoulder before she ran her hand through it.

“Every memory, skill, every scraped knee, every pet hamster, every bully and every school day isn’t mine, someone chose that for me”  her eyes widened “Is my degree even valid? I have a PHD In bioinformatics for Christ’s sake am I even qualified to do anything? How did I get my drivers license, oh god did my vote for Hillary even count?”  

 

“Ava, Ava hey” Sara moved to sit on her knees and put her hand on Ava’s shoulder

 

“I just”  Ava’s voice sounded watery “I don’t know what feels real anymore”  
  
“We’ll figure it out” Sara reached out her hand to wipe away a tear from Ava’s cheek.

 

Sara grabbed her hand and interlaced their fingers.  


“Ok? I promise”

**Author's Note:**

> ( General I'm not a native English speaker / don't have a beta disclaimer / also I don’t actually do ballet so take this withba grain of salt )  
> just a drabble. Hope you enjoyed! let me know!
> 
> [ song: Tightrope from The Greatest Showman ]


End file.
